Who Needs Food When You Have Scotch?

4:27 PM Him: I found the cure to the common cold and everything else that ails you.

4:28 PM me: YES?

 Him: Scotch. I'm feeling pretty good now.

 me: I'm fresh out. Dammit!

  OK. Ill run right out and get some!

4:29 PM Happy almost birthday!!!

 Him Thank you. And happy belated birthday to you!

 me: :-)

 Him: I've been watching The Wire today thinking of you.

 me: Right on!

4:30 PM A shot every time someone gets shot. No, a shot for every crime!

4:31 PM Him: I'd be out of scotch in ten minutes.

 me: You best stock up then

4:32 PM Him: I made a special trip to the store today for a bottle, the second cheapest they had, spared almost every expense.

 me: Shoulda got Old Smugglers!

 Him: Is that a scotch?

4:33 PM me: Yes. The best of the worst, once might say.

  used to be $4/bottle, but they got wise and doubled it.

 Him: I'll look out for that next time. I almost bought Chivas, as a birthday present to me, but then I remembered I am broke.

 me: I almost did the same, but just bought beer. Lame

4:34 PM Whatever happened to people buying you bottles and bottles of booze for your birthday? Oh yeah, that never happened.

4:35 PM Him: I should have just spent the extra $15 dollars, I'll probably waste it on something stupid anyway, like gas.

 me: Exactly! Or like food!

  Or something

 Him: Who needs food when you have scotch?

 me: Who needs gas when you got scotch?

  (does scotch give you gas?)

4:36 PM Him: Good point.

4:38 PM I just remembered I preheated the oven for a pizza, I should put that in.

 me: oops

 Him: Get well. Maybe we can hang out this weekend or something.

 me: or maybe we can eat 15 sloth kidneys tomorrow

4:39 PM 

 Him: That is a possibility.

 me: cool

  enjoy your birthday!

 Him: Don't tell me what to do.