Not You. Definitely not You.

11:41 AM Her: Hey, sugar puff!

11:42 AM me: WOW! I can't believe it's you, cupcake. I miss you so so so so so much.

 Her: Not as much as I miss you, sweetie. How you been?

 me: :(

11:43 AM Her: I figured as much. I feel your pain all the way from here. Oh, sugar, it's all going to be ok. You just have to believe that.11:44 AM me: I do. I do. You won't hear any whining from me. But, man, I wish you were here.

11:47 AM Her: I always with you, shuggs. You know I love you. How's your heart?

11:48 AM me: What heart?

11:50 AM Her: You might be able to fool all those fuckers out there, hon, but you can't fool me. I know you have the the biggest heart of all of them. And it feels every ripple in the pond. Poor, baby.

 me: I'm just doing my job, cupcake. Absorbing some of the shit, so the world can be a better place. :)

 Her: Well, enough of that. You have to get yours too.

 me: I get mine.

11:53 AM Her: No, you give and you give. You never take. And sometimes you don't even let us give. You have to let us give. You got someone loving on you, sugar?

11:55 AM me: uh... smiling. Yeah, maybe. Yeah.

11:57 AM Her: Ooo, I like that. More, please.

 me: I don't know what to say. I really don't. He's...Oh, he's...He's...  He can do no wrong.12:00 PM Her: That sounds very dangerous.Watch your heart, sugar. Don't go giving it all too soon.

 me: I know. Man, do I know. I can't really give any of it. Any. It's utter madness.

 Her: Love is always madness.

 me: Hey! Who said anything about love?

11:53 AM Her: Oh, sugar. You did. You said it all. Remember, you can't fool this little lady.

11:55 AM me: I love YOU. Can't I just love you? Isn't that just good enough? It's all so damn hard. So effen complicated. I can't stand it. Can't I just run and hide? Can't I just...stop it all.

11:57 AM Her: No, shuggs. Not you. Definitely not you.

A Hot Arrogant Fuckstick

7 minutes

2:37 PM Him: I love you, sexy mama.

 me: Aren't I lucky

2:40 PM cut it out

 Him:What do ya mean?

2:41 PM me: The crap

 Him: Not crap. I mean it.

 me: Fuck off!I dont want your love

 Him: You want me.

 me: Not anymore

 Him: I want you.

 me: Takes 2

2:42 PM Him: Cmere then.

 me: No got better places to be

2:43 PM Him: No place better than on me.

 me: That's what you thinkYour an arrogant fuckstickA hot arrogant fuckstick but an arrogant fuckstickAnd a hot arrogant fuckstick is still nothing but a fuckstick
Him: But I love fucking you. I love you, sexy.

 me: Thats to badSucks for you

2:44 PM Him: You want me to take you away again?Where you want to go, sexy? I promised you Venice.

 me: I dont want your company or your money

 Him: Yes you do.I treat you right. Not like those little pricks you go out with.

 me: Your the one with the little prick

 Him: LowThat little prick makes you scream.

 me: Fear

 Him: I scare you then?

 me: not so much

2:45 PM Him: Cuz you love me too.

 me: Yea thats it

 Him: I'm going love you forevere

 me: As long as I stay on all fours and suck your friends dick while you fuck my ass?

 Him: He's my boy.

2:46 PM me: Not mine

 Him: But I am.

 me: Not anymore

 Him: What's the big deal?

 me: Not you

 Him: Why r you so worked up?

Still a Spark

6:15 PM me: Hey you! Running late. Meet you guys directly @ dinner. Know where it is?

 Her: No problem. See you there.

 me: Your socks are being held for ransom...

6:16 PM Her: Not a very sexy gift to leave. Should have opted for the panties instead.

 me: Indeed. Difficult to lose them when they stay on the entire time. ;-)

 Her: See, I knew there was a good reason for that.

6:17 PM me: Had to be. Guess I'll just make due w socks for now...

  Her: I've got terribly cute feet. :-)me: Can't rush some things, ya know?Her: I do.me: And you, beautiful! Nice to know there's still a spark...Her: I'll always have a flint for youme: Have timber. Will travel.Her: I'm holding you to that. I'm holding you.   

Are You Relaxed?

11:40 AM 

me: is your dude still not there?Her: nofucker

11:42 AM me: damn, dude... we coulda banged like 5 times by now.

 Her: yep

  :(

  hey, lover...

 me: yes

11:43 AM Her: never mind

 me: no what?

 Her: i was just teasing

 me: haha you are a tease.

 Her: no, i just liked that somehow.

 me: <3

 Her: like how it sounds in my head

11:44 AM or looks onscreen

  <3

  goof

 me: i like how you sound in my head.

11:45 AM hah

 Her: i like how you sound in real life

  especially when you're fucking me

 me: do i sound good? haha. i wouldnt know. :)

 Her: bullshit

11:46 AM you practice with a recorder and then jack off while you listen to it

  obviously

 me: haha... good idea.

 Her: no one is that good naturally

  :)

 me: stfu. :)

  i do like how you sound, tho.

 Her: naw

 me: when you're cumming on me.

11:47 AM Her: you haven't heard the best of it yet. my body is weird right now. 

 ne: thats ok.

 Her: no its not

11:48 AM me: it'll get back to normal.

 Her: you think? I hope so.

 me: i'm pretty confident.

11:49 AM Her: no shit ;)

 me: no... in YOU.

 Her: I think maybe a roofie would help

11:50 AM me: oh yeah?

 Her: yes

 me: can you actually cum when roofied, or is it just a different feeling?

 Her: i think i can

11:51 AM I'm able to come when drugged up

 me: interesting

 Her: Takes a little longer at times, but

  I do well relaxed

 me: do you feel relaxed when you're fucking me yet?

 Her: Yes

11:53 AM But something is still off. I think it's just my being sick because I feel very comfortable with you.

 me: thats good.

11:54 AM so am i.

 Her: You are crazy hot

  unexpected

11:55 AM 

  shutting up now

 me: you flatter me too much.

  you're the hot one of the pair, tho

  fyi

11:56 AM Her: Shut up. it'll totally go to my head.

Your Pussy Is in Safe Hands

11:12 AM Him: what are u wearing?

11:14 AM me: glasses

11:15 AM Him: pics plz. naked if possible

11:16 AM me: I also have a blue skirt on

 Him: ooh.,

 me: which I guess I'll take off now.

 Him: why?

 me: "pics plz. naked if possible"

 Him: hahaha...ooh. i didnt think you would. :0

11:17 AM me: kthennotgonna

 Him: dammit, stop fucking with my emotions, girl! hahah

  or...

  my libido

11:18 AM me: but you say things you don't mean.

 Him: more accurate

  do i?

  have i not always come thru on my promises?

 me: you ask for pics then say you didn't think i would so clearly you ask though you assume i won't, hence you're not really asking. Mouthful. Tirednowgottago

11:19 AM Him: i'll show you mine if you show me yours.

 me: ooh!

  deal

 Him: good,

  anything you want to show

11:20 AM me: what?

11:21 AM Him: just sayin, i love it all. so whatever you like, send.

11:22 AM me: I just took a pic of my pussy. OMG

 Him: just sent my contrution. ;0

11:23 AM mmm lemme see the little flower!

 me: OMG I don't think I want that out there. :O

11:24 AM Him: tease.

11:25 AM me: OMG

11:26 AM Him: yess?

  holy fuck that looks tasty.

 me: OMG

11:27 AM Him: hahah what?

11:29 AM me: nothing nothing nothing just toggling back and forth between the two. I thought maybe I could produce a flip book effect of sorts

  :D

  OMG

11:30 AM Him: mmm you should

11:31 AM me: I'll make you fuck me yet, even if it's just in photoshop! 

11:32 AM Him: hahaha. let me know if its any substitute. ill try iy myself

 me: Are you forwarding that pic to all your friends. I already posted yours to FB.

  

11:33 AM Him: hahaha you would, too!

 me: No way

 Him: haha

 me: dont want to share

 Him: dont worry your pussy is in safe hands

Soccer or Baseball?

6:42 PM me: when are you gonna be free?

6:44 PM Her: Not sure. Another hour?

6:45 PM 

  The exbf wants me to stop by to talk, but I don't think I will.

6:46 PM me: ahhh.

  the dude you just "broke up" with?

 Her: oh, shit no. The one before.

6:47 PM I don't refer to anyone after that as a bf

6:48 PM me: ahhh. understandable.

 Her: But I do want to birth a soccer team with you

  :)

6:49 PM me: oooh!

  that sounds like fun.

6:50 PM Her: Do you prefer soccer or baseball?

6:51 PM me: hmmm... how big are soccer teams/

 Her: I like the idea of an even 11

 me: hah

  sounds good. sure your little body could handle all that stress?

6:52 PM Her: wow. no idea

  but i do have child bearing hips

6:53 PM and i come from a hugely child-bearing family. I think it's in the genes

  I don't think my grandmother was ever not pregnant

  I think that's enough of that

6:54 PM me: haha. what BC are you on again? sweating :)

 Her: lol

  did i say i was on BC?

 me: go for it. :)

6:56 PM Her: go for it?

  wtf

 me: i'm fucking with you, sugar.

6:57 PM Her: too bad

 me: i'll just fuck you as much as possible, and you do as you wish. :)

6:58 PM Her: don't worry. i'll just quietly slip away.

6:59 PM me: haha. oh, but i'd want to see what amazingly creative and awesome people they become!

 Her: i'll send you pics

  or you can become a FB friend or something

7:00 PM me: ahhh, k, that works. ;)

 Her: Probably time to stop joking about this.

  wow. now i'm totally not turned on at all. cool. i can probably work now

  my va-JJ is terrified

 me: awwww, i finally found a way to turn you off. :)

 Her: and my uterus hurts

7:01 PM 

 me: poor gal.

 Her: aw, man. or maybe i just need to be fucked

 me: yeah, probs.

To Catch a Predator

me:  hey pervert.

Her:  hey fuckface

me:  what are you doing, lsoer?

          oops... LOSER. excuse me

Her:  sending some emails to 11 year old boys.  hoping to get a spot on 
          "to catch a predator."

          what are you doing?

me:  how's that workin out?

          i'm doing the same, only 11 year old girls.

Her:  it's not.

me:  i'm going to wear my band's t-shirt when i show up so i get some 
        free promo.

Her:  ha

          that's a great idea.

          then you'll probably get a spot on american idol, too, i bet

me:  it kind of is, actually... like...

          you know how the dudes always show up with a box of condoms
          and some booze...

Her:  yeah

me:  and then they're like, "I WAS JUST COMING OVER TO TELL 
         HER NOT TO EVER FUCK OLDER MEN ON THE INTERNET, 
         I SWEAR!!!" ....

         well...

         i'll show up with a bag full of cds, and t-shirts, and stickers
         and shit, and a book on saving yourself for marrriage.

Her:  it'll work perfectly.

         you're a genius.

me:  i dont see how it couldn't work perfectly.

Howzabout I Show You the Real Thing?

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Once I start thinking sexy thoughts...

9:50 PM Him:You still out?

9:52 PM me: home

  showered

  naked

  wet

9:54 PM 

Much better now

 Him: Right on. Don't blame you.

 me: you?

9:55 PM Him: Just chilling reading some forums... nothing special.

  Cleaned and shaved though...

9:56 PM me: nice

9:57 PM Him: Bored.

9:58 PM Should have went with the vic and wine.

  Prolly would have been asleep by now though

9:59 PM me: Asleep? Oh, I suppose. Long week and all.

10:07 PM Him: Hate to waste a vic now.

10:09 PM Just want the humming feeling

 me: why waste?

  just do

 Him: Fall asleep too soon to enjoy it

 me: fuck that. you'll sleep better, too

 Him: True.

10:10 PM No snuggling either though. Best part.

 me: true that

14 minutes

10:55 PM me: Now it's me trying to decide whether or not to take vic

10:56 PM Him: Don't waste them!

 me: lol

10:57 PM Him: Sleep good. Your right about that.

  Gives me crazy dreams.

 me: i want good sleep.

 Him: Crazy crazy.

 me: of course i could open a bottle of wine

10:58 PM 

  or smoke some dojo

 Him: All of my favs!

 me: or just sleep

  or masturbate and then sleep

 Him: Prolly what I'm going to do.

 me: :)

 Him: No nott feeling it.

10:59 PM Even though I do feel sexy.

 me: ah, well, good thing i didn't swing over then

  :D

 Him: Clean shaven and all.

  All clean shaven ha1

11:00 PM me: Really?

 Him: Mhm.

 me: lol

 Him: Figure one us should be at any given time!

 me: Low blow

  I just shaved

 Him: Only teasing.

 me: and groomed

11:02 PM 

Him: Really?

 me: mhm

 Him: Pish posh.

 me: yeah, yeah

 Him: Been turned on for like ten mins now.

  Might take option b yet still

 me: you just said you weren't feeling it!

11:03 PM Him: I'm still a guy...

 me: true true

 Him: Doesn't take much.

 me: do tell

 Him: I think its my imagination.

Once I start thinking sexy thoughts...

  Kind of snowballs.

 me: go on

11:05 PM Him: Well. You know. Start thinking about warm bodies.

  Slow wet kisses.

  Clothes coming off

 me: Is this what you do with all your extra-curricular chatting. :)

11:06 PM Him: Nope.

  Shall I go on?

 me: of course

 Him: Heart beats and breathing fall into sync...

11:07 PM hands feeling all the delicate smooth senstive areas

  More warmth

  Breathing and heartbeats intensefies

11:08 PM Naked.

  Bodys slither to fit that right spot

11:09 PM The slow penetration... warm and smooth like a piece of silk left in the warm rain

  Warmth

11:10 PM Kisses become passionate

  Eyes lock

  Intense focus

11:11 PM Moving and feeling as one

  Breathing becomes labored.

  Kisses taste of warm salty sweat

11:12 PM Hands and feet writhe trying keep control

11:13 PM Rushes of warmth rolls over the body

  Kisses turn into small bites

11:14 PM A final surge of energy

  The release

  Breathing slows

  Sweat glistens

11:15 PM Bodys go limp into eachothers

11:16 PM The slightest movement brings spats of extacy

  Peace

  Warmth

  Light kisses...

11:17 PM Did I miss anything?

11:19 PM me: that will do

11:20 PM Him: That's real.

The Proverbial Ice-Queen

 Him: What's the good word on next sat, my dear?

 me: I'm in if you guys are up for it.

 Him: we is in

9:21 AM me: groovy

  finally

 Him: I'll have the pretty lady send you one of those newfangled invites from the googles

 me: O, fancy

9:22 AM Him: Indeed

 me: nothing less from you 2, i know

  Am I an iceberg?

 Him: That's just how we roll

  Well, I can't speak to your body temperature

 me: LOL. Pretty cold right now actually

 Him: but you seem fairly hot-blooded in temperament

 me: even funnier.

9:23 AM Him: Or is this a frigidity question in the proverbial ice-queen way?

 me: no, not frigidity perse — well, social frigidity perhaps

9:24 AM -per se

 Him: Well, you take your time warming up to new people

  but I don't really see that as being iceberg like

  I'm no different in that regard

 me: ok. good.

 9:25 AM Look forward to spending some quality time with you guys

 Him: It'll be excellent

 me: yup

  k

  have a great day. I'll await fancy invite

 Him: excellent -- booze, weed and soup. :-)

 me: yummmmmmm

Gramma Is Here

3:51 PM Him: Hi! Gramma is here!!

 me: What do you mean gramma is here? That's crazy! What the heck is she doing there?

3:52 PM Him: I'm chatting with her

 me: Ooh, chatting! I thought she was actually there.

  Tell her I love her tons.

3:53 PM Him: You can't chat with her?

Back from the Heat

3:07 PM me: you back from the heat?

11 minutes

3:19 PM Her: Yup!

3:20 PM me: feeling all sorts of refreshed?

 Her: Nah. Just happy to be back.

  To all this shit. ;-)

 me: You're excited to freeze your nipples off, ain't ya? ;-)

3:21 PM Her: Exactly! Well, not entirely off.

 me: well, half-off would look kinda funny

3:22 PM Her: Ish