Tend the Potato Farm

Him: hey

Me: Hey, stranger. What up?

Him: nothin' much. where are you these days?

Me: Mich still. You?

Him: ID. potato land

Me: Ha. A friend told me ID doesn't really exists

Him: haha

Me: She said people just got Ireland mixed up - mispronounced it

Him: i don't really know anyone who says they're from idaho

Me: Wow. Maybe you don't even exist anymore

Him: it's possible

Me: Don't want to provoke an existential crisis. Let's just pretend you exist. It's easier that way

Him: ok. ill do some pondering on that subject later

Me: Don't waste your time. It doesn't really matter.

Him: true. maybe it's all a dream

Me: So what have you been pretending to do when you're pretending to exist?

Him: when im not tending to the potato farm, i usually just mess around on the interwebs, or go hiking if it's warm enough

Me: Is it warm enough? Seems to be cold everywhere this week

Him: it could be warmer

Me: roast some potatoes and put them under the covers

Him: lol

Me: you can make a mini potato sweat lodge. you can even chant a bit if you feel so inclined

Him: hold on, i found a cord under my bed

Me: umbilical cord?

Him: it says "EXISTENCE" on it. im going to unplug it

Me: uh oh

Him: oh shi-

Me: Hello?