Party in My Pants

Her: my mum's alive!

 me: woooO!

  you should have a party.

12:18 PM Her: party in my pants right now

12:19 PM me: haha.......i wish.

12:20 PM anything fun happen on the bus?

 Her: I slept!

  free wifi!

12:21 PM masturbated

  

  no birfday party for mum

  she would rather just chill with us

  which means getting drunk on wine

 me: hah.......well thats cool. :)

  <3

 Her: yeah it will be fuuun

12:22 PM me: it better be! or i'm holding you responsible.

 Her: I am gonna pay for you to ride an orca

  for your bday

12:23 PM me: haha!

 Her: imagine you on the back of an orca with a little party hat

 me: that would be hot. i see XX found you.

 Her: yes she did

12:24 PM Her: she sent me a provate message that said she actually likes me better

 me: nah ah. no way.

 Her: she wants me to have her babies

 me: speaking of which, are you really thinking about selling your eggs?

12:25 PM Her: yes

  but, still in the thinking stage

  what do you think?

  do you want me to save them all for you ;)

 me: haha. yes, allllllllllll of them! *nom nom nom*

12:26 PM how many do they take?

 Her: I have no idea

  they are sending me the info packet

  I wonder how invasive it is

  that would be the deal breaker for me

12:27 PM me: yeah, i've heard it's kind of invasive, but i'm not really sure what that entails.

 Her: oh crap

  well... I am not sure I could do it

  getting stitches almost made me puke

12:29 PM me: hah......you're cute.

12:30 PM i think it's mostly the hormone injections that are invasive.

 Her: hormone injections???!

12:31 PM me: hah......yes. ps, i love that i know more about this than you and i have a penis.

12:32 PM Her: errrr....

  I will have to read the info... sounds scary

12:33 PM me: heh......yeah, it has risks.

 Her: oh crap

 me: which is why they pay a lot of $$. :)

 Her: oh I see

12:34 PM me: you could probably demand a lot because of your education level.

  and your hottness. :)

 Her: oh yes, the hotness ... i demand $12000 per egg

 me: you could probably get it.

12:35 PM Her: haha

 me: srsly, i was reading some story about this chick that negotiated $65k.

12:36 PM Her: Wha?? wow

  While using the drugs, you will have frequent medical tests. Removing the eggs from your ovaries involves a minor surgical procedure.

  surgery

  yuck

  I am such a wuss

 me: hah. yeahhhh, well it's your body.

12:37 PM Her: I'll read about it

  I think it's a nice thing to help someone have a baby

  but perhaps too much of a physical commitment

  plus, they may not accept me because of my anxiety

 me: welllll..........dont tell them! haah

12:38 PM Her: they do psychological tests

 me: pshhh.......you're top notch.

 Her: well... I am gonna tyr to donate plasma tomorrow

  I will start slow

12:39 PM 1. plasma

  2. eggs

  3. kidney

 me: then you can be a surrogate mother.

  i would totally sell my sperm if i could.

12:40 PM Her: why can't you???

  are they deficient? Fess up now, buddy?

12:41 PM me: hah.......no, they're not deficient... at least they werent a couple years ago. hah......but they want grad students and hot soccer players and shit, i think. they get about a billion applications.

12:42 PM Her: aww... but you are incredible. If they only knew.

  that's fine. I keep your sperm for myself

  :)

12:43 PM me: haha..mmmkay, that works for me. can i get $200 per deposit?

 Her: ha

  $100 per facial

12:44 PM $200 inside me

  $1000 if you inseminate me

12:45 PM me: haha.......$1000?? wooohooo. totally not jerking off until i see you next.

12:49 PM Her: $2000 if you do it this weekend

  then, I can sell the baby

  on craigslist